Timing

yes. time flies by. and then stands still in the waiting. baby #2 due in 9 days. i thought for sure i'd be in labor by now...not my timing apparently! so no breath holding, just deep breathing and sighs.

since christian turned 2 our lives have gone through roller coaster loops. the month of april was our perfect storm of finishing the dissertation and going through the final stages of some possible job opportunities - which ultimately fell through! we are still recovering from that month. there were positives like being able to shift my work schedule in order to spend mornings with christian. tiring but fun - doing regular 'mom' stuff like going to the park and meeting other moms to chat while we chase our children and save them from each other.

may brought the dissertation defense, which dan passed with distinction! what a praise! and then the actual turning in of the dissertation (which didn't need any revisions!). my family had a mini surprise reunion for my mother's retirement. and then june came with the graduation of dr. koehler. and july a vacation to virginia beach, the retirement city of my parents.

through all of this christian has been growing leaps and bounds and we have been trying to mature right along with him, especially in terms of discipline, reproof - consistency, etc. he's such a personality at times so loving and cuddly and at times so annoying!!!! (his favorite response right now is a whiny 'no.' - awesome.)

we've been coaching him on his duties as older brother as we slowly add more and more infant things to his surroundings. but in speaking with other moms it's just going to take the baby being born for it really to sink in.

and so we continue to wait! i'm not overdue just ready due:)

and then what's next? after baby, my leave for about 12 weeks during which dan will apply again for academic positions around the country. there are actually openings despite the economy looking like a double dip whatever. and then we go through the whole process again - me working full time, dan fathering full time while seeking after the beginning of his career.

so i will try to post here to tell you how it's all going - this crazy season of parenthood.

Catch up

It's been over a month! So sorry I've been delinquent. So much has happened but nothing has happened. How to remember the moments?

Christian is a darling. He's certainly a little personality. I fall deeper in love with him daily it seems, which makes it harder and harder to go to work. I try not to think about having only 17 more years before he's out of my hands...I know - silliness! But seriously, if this year has flown by what's to change about the future ones?

He loves the outdoors and other kids. He would rather be at the play ground adjacent to our apartment building than anywhere else. He's into the sand box now. He doesn't play with the other kids but watches how they play. He usually grabs onto one of the cars and then holds it while he walks around.

One thing we are focusing on now is eating. He prefers not to eat the food we provide sometimes. He is a slow eater but also willful in that he refuses even when hungry! Because he knows we have other things that he likes. Stinker! But we tell him our will is stronger than his - at least for now:)

Discipline is still a subject to study. We are adopting some of the SuperNanny techniques - looking him in the eye, telling him what the expectations are, trying to be consistent.

I wish I had a cute story to tell - maybe if one comes to mind in the next few moments...

Nope! Until next time...

Profound, Mundane : Hamlet, Poopy Diapers

On facebook you can add an application called Pieces of Flair, originating from the movie Office Space. One of the pieces (buttons) that I chose to stick on my fair board says

We're adults. When did this happen? And how do we make it stop?

The fleetingness of life - are we like grass. I have had this thought recently, mainly when realizing that I am a mom. I know it sounds silly to keep having to realize this, but it's profound to become something like a mother and yet so ordinary, so usual and common. So the time passing but also the becoming, the life changing...

It reminds me of the beginning of Hamlet when Hamlet's mother wonders why Hamlet is so distraught at his father's dying. Pardon the quote:

Thou know’st ’tis common; all that live must die,
Passing through nature to eternity.

Ay, madam, it is common.

If it be,
Why seems it so particular with thee?

Seems, madam! Nay, it is; I know not ‘seems.’

And his 'new father' adds:

’Tis sweet and commendable in your nature, Hamlet,
To give these mourning duties to your father:
But, you must know, your father lost a father;
That father lost, lost his; and the survivor bound
In filial obligation for some term
To do obsequious sorrow; but to presever
In obstinate condolement is a course
Of impious stubbornness; ’tis unmanly grief

So grieve but not too long for that would be unmanly. Application: think on change but a little and then get on with living?

But what a digression. Anyway, I'm not grieving just find myself marveling at life. And then the thoughts go from the heaviness of 'mother' to the mundane tasks of cleaning up poopy diapers:)

oi weh

Anyhoo, Christian is a joy to us. We thank the Lord for him. There are glimpses of him understanding things. He understands through repetition and routine. For instance, after he is done in the bath, I lay the towel across my chest, look down at him and reach my arms toward him. He looks up smiling and knows that the bath is done and that I will pick him up. I think I saw him reach back, though this would be a little early in development.

Can it be he trusts in me completely? He knows his mom even before I realize (again) that I am his mom.